Monologues for the wacked-out actor

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Jabberwocky -Lewis Carroll

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
 
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
 
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
 
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Chicago- Roxie Hart

Roxie: (speaking to Mama) I always wanted to have my name in all the papers. Before I met Amos I use to date this well-to-do ugly bootlegger. He used to like to take me out and show me off. Ugly guys like to do that. Once it said in the paper, "Gangland's Al Capelli seen at Chez Vito with cute blond chorus girl." That was me. I clipped it and saved it. You know, all my life I wanted to have my own act. But noooo, no, no, no, it's always no, they always turned me down. One big world full of no! And then Amos came along. Safe, sweet Amos. Who never says no. Ohh. (coy giggles) I’ve never done this before, but you know, it is such a special night and you are such a great audience! (applause from Roxie's "audience") And, and, I just really feel like I can talk to you, you know? So forget what you've read in the papers, and forget what you’ve heard on the radio because, because, because I'm gonna tell you the truth. (giggles) Not that the truth really matters, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. In the love department, Amos was......zero. ( imitating Amos) "I love ya, honey, I love ya!" Anyway, I started fooling around...and then I started screwing around, which is fooling around without dinner. Then I met Fred Casley, who said he could get me into vaudeville, but that didn't quite work out like I planned. I guess it didn't really work out too great for Fred either. So I gave up with the whole vaudeville idea, 'cause you gotta figure after all those years -- opportunities just pass you by. (sings) But it ain't, oh no no no no, but it ain't. (speaking again) And now, if this Flynn guy gets me off, with all this publicity, I got me a world full of YES!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

CHARGE -Eric Kaiser

MARTHA: In the beginning, I am mean and greedy and selfish. This is symbolized by three things, A: There is a half-finished sculpture of an angel in my garage. B: There is a hungry little boy that sleeps on my doorstep every night that I call the police on. And C: I have a dying father that I haven't talked to in years. Then one day I see the error of my ways. I don't know how, I don't know. But I see it. Then: [Pause, a little smile.] The song comes on. And in the three minute duration of this song. I make all of the changes I need to in my life. They are symbolized by A: I finish the angel sculpture in my garage, and incidentally it is a masterpiece. B: I feed the little hungry boy on my porch, I bring him in the home and incidentally he becomes a senator and loves me. And finally C: I call my Father and tears stream from our eyes as we tell each other we love one another, and incidentally moments later he dies. But I tell him in time. And then moments later all is right in the world and this is symbolized by an ambient, light that my soul generates. [She is choked up.] Excuse me. Excuse me. It's just so dramatic. I do all that in the duration of a three minute song. It frustrates me so that I can't change like that. It is amazing how the people whose stories are told by movies, during the duration of one song, can switch their whole life around. I want a dramatic life like that.



MARTHA: There was a woman. A single mother living in this terrible, or terribly excitingly terrible place called the hood, it is full of a naughty little substance called crack, and has people driving small van like cars then shooting people from them, it's a terribly excitingly terrible place. Anyway a lady named…well they all called her Sista!! Sista? Isn't that charming? Well she had a son that everyone called Brutha', Now I have not yet determined if indeed they are biological brothers and sisters. But I don't think so because Brutha called Sista…Mutha. Now Brutha also had a Brutha that was called Brutha's Brutha, and Sista was also his Mutha. So we have Brutha, Brutha's Brutha and Sista which is their Mutha. Understand? Well Brutha was a hard one, and Brutha's Brutha was a soft one. Brutha was in a sordid little group called a gang. And Brutha's Brutha was in a safe little group called a chess club. While Brutha would drive around in little cars and Scream "I'm gonna blow your head of You dead Fucker." Brutha's Brutha would sit and say "Checkmate." They both shared a common goal though. And that was "GETTING OUT." One wanted to shoot his way out and the other wanted think his way out. [Pause.] Getting out huh? Do you understand that? Wanting to break free from all that you are bound too? I wish we could break out. Can we break out?